From Burnout to Balance: A Journey

As we peel back the layers of our own burnout experiences, we invite you on a heart-to-heart journey through the silent epidemic sweeping our work-driven world. Ever found yourself longing for the weekend only to spend it dreading Monday? Our candid discussion in this episode unpacks the creeping signs of burnout and how vital it is to catch them before you're running on empty. We dive into stories of workplace support systems that feel like lifelines and the necessity of establishing boundaries that clients and colleagues respect, sharing laughs and groans over our own learning curves.

This episode is an anthem for the overstretched, the overbooked, and the overstressed, proving that scheduling "me time" isn't just good for the soul—it's essential for our productivity. We also serve up an honest conversation about the subtle art of self-compassion and the tricky balance of personal and professional life in a world that rarely hits pause. Discussing practical strategies, we highlight the importance of effective communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. We also delve into how the pandemic has compounded stress levels and offer actionable tips to manage these heightened pressures.

We encourage everyone to celebrate the small victories and the transformative power of simply giving yourself grace. Amidst the rollercoaster of life's demands, we remind you that you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed. This episode is a virtual hug, a nod of understanding, and a toolkit for anyone looking to reclaim their spark. Let's navigate the chaos of modern life together—with a touch more kindness and a lot more solidarity.

https://www.betterhelp.com
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https://growtherapy.com

Transcript

Recognizing and Managing Workplace Burnout

Speaker 2 0:18

Hello guys , welcome back to blessed to be a mess podcast . My name is Monica and I'm Sarah . Thank you guys for joining us .

Speaker 1 0:26

Yes thank you . How are you today ? I feel a little burnt out today . I don't know if I'm funny , but no , honestly I had a really stressful day yesterday . But we're talking about it . Yeah , and I'm so happy that it is the weekend , because I feel like yesterday was Friday and it was a real Friday for real .

Speaker 2 0:50

I can contest to that . I was ready to shut that laptop down at 5 . Like , the week has just been like good riddance . I'm just over it . It's a busy season for me , definitely , and I think everyone I'm talking to it's like just feeling very overwhelmed and stressed with just , I'm sure , work and maybe also life things as well . Do you feel that way as well ?

Speaker 1 1:12

I feel like work always takes the number one spot when it comes to stress it is , it is , it is .

Speaker 2 1:18

I think that's a a level in our lives , or you know something in our lives that is because it's our bread and butter and most priority thing . We , we spent the most time . It's eight hours , right , you know , um , and we spend a lot of time per day there . I think it's overkill . My opinion , um , and you know it can easily become very daunting . Yeah , it it's crazy . He's become daunting . He's become like very , you know um , routine hamster wheel , ish , you know , and then you're trying to like balance that with your life and other priorities and other pressing things . Maybe you have a family , maybe you have children , you know , or maybe other activities that you want to do , and it can become hard because , you know , um , the demand precedence correct and it requires a lot from you . It's energy ridden . I sometimes I feel mentally exhausted after a day of work , you know physically and mentally yeah work takes physically and mentally it it's taxing .

Speaker 2 2:24

It is . It definitely is , depending on what line of work that you do . For me , I work for a nonprofit organization , so I'm sitting down in front of screens all day , answering phones , all of these other things , and so some days can be better than others . There are some quiet days and some less stressful days , lighter , days Right , that's not the norm right .

Speaker 2 2:47

No , no , it's not . It's really very busy . You know , when you're in an organization , it's just very busy . It's always things going , always projects , always , you know , deliverables to have , and I think it can easily lead to stress , and then stress , of course , can lead to burnout . And so what we were talking about , you know , was just like , what do we do in this situation ? You know , because it's like we can sense we have this self-awareness to know that we are not okay , you know , like we're maybe biting off them more than we can chew , maybe it's just a lot on our plate , and I think that's the first thing is to decide , like , is it me or is it just a lot of work or a lot of things coming up , you know ? So what ?

Speaker 1 3:31

is burnout , though what ?

Speaker 2 3:34

would you , how would you explain ? It Define it so , yeah , so what I used to like .

Speaker 2 3:38

I think like just complete utter exhaustion , just like because it doesn't happen overnight . I feel like you're just coming to the end of yourself where it's like you just can't , you have no more to give . Right , it's just depleted your stress , it's , it's , it's been going on for a while , right , it's just not overnight , and you're just , you know , at a sense of , like you know what I , just you , you need , you need a change , me , something different . You need to do something about it at that point , and so , like , the goal is not to get there . Right , you know , like , um , what symptoms do you think are associated with ? Like burnout ?

Speaker 1 4:09

hmm , I would say feeling okay when I feel tired and drained , like in like long stretches of time , right , like I have seasons , like why am I always tired ? Why am I ? I got eight hours , nine hours , ten hours of sleep last night , yeah , why am I waking up , yawning , feeling ? Exhausted throughout the day it's one o'clock yeah , it's two o'clock in the afternoon . I'm tired and then I also feel like , maybe , like , if you find yourself like , knock on wood , I feel like I haven't gotten a cold this year yet . I haven't gotten sick .

Speaker 2 4:43

Yeah , I feel like that's like . You know , you ever hear people like I'm sick again this time yeah , like this time of the year every year I get sick .

Speaker 1 4:49

I catch a cold , some sort of illness like yeah I haven't gotten sick .

Speaker 2 4:52

So I feel like that's also like a way , like if you're always getting sick , you always have a cold , if you always like , because your immunity is not like yeah , because stress does affect your immunity , right , you know , and , and you know , and you're the way you . You know , um , the way you show up . You know , because I was reading something online and it was saying that , you know , burnout reduces productivity and saps your energy , leaving you feeling increasingly helpless , hopeless , cynical and resentful , and I didn't think it was all the way like that . But I can see , yeah , and I'm like I didn't know . You may feel like you have nothing more to give , and so I was like , oh wow , I didn't know to the degree , like this is even worse than what I thought it was .

Speaker 1 5:29

Honestly , so then there's physical signs of burnout , then there's emotional signs , right , right . So then that would be the emotional right . So then headaches is another one .

Speaker 2 5:38

I feel , like .

Speaker 1 5:39

Sometimes I find myself getting headaches all the time because I'm drinking water .

Speaker 2 5:42

And then we talked about the scream . Right , you and I stare at screens all day . I stare at three screens a day and I'm sure that contributes to the headaches .

Speaker 1 5:49

I can't be healthy .

Speaker 2 5:50

And then I have my phone and then my laptop and then the TV screen . How ?

Speaker 1 5:54

many screens do I really see in a day ?

Speaker 2 5:56

I think also loss of appetite , right , like you're just not feeling like you even want to . You know what I mean . Like eat anything because you're so stressed , because stress can definitely cause that , right , and then just Maybe even like eating too much , right ?

Speaker 1 6:09

I wonder Also that too , because you're trying to feel .

Speaker 2 6:11

That's another way too . That can you know , do it . You know , you know , and , like you said , you can have illness , cold flus . All of that , you know , are symptoms of it . You know , and I think in my life I'm just trying to see if I ever experienced that I think I've had maybe certain seasons where I've had like extreme burnout and then some of it may have just been like stress or whatever it may be . I remember there was one time , maybe a couple years back , um , I was going to , I was supposed to , I had a trip to go to kenya and at work I remember I was like , oh my god , I have so much to do to set myself in a good place . I want to make sure I complete these things . And it was such a like the plate was just . Honestly , when I look back now , the plate was just so big . There's just no way I would have finished all of that in the amount of time that I had .

Speaker 1 6:53

But I got , you know .

Speaker 2 7:00

I could fill myself , but you had deadlines . It was just so early , I think I was just only like maybe a year or two into my job , and so I don't think I had that , like you know , um awareness to be like hey , you know I need to like say something , and so I remember going to the doctor because I'm like I know I was feeling off , I was feeling just not okay . I had , you know , like I said , headaches . I wasn't , I didn't have lots of appetite . I'd help . I'm like what is going on ?

Speaker 2 7:22

and they did all the blood work and they were like you're fine and they're like yes , I wasn't even sleeping well , they're like it's stress and I was like well , I think it's because I'm not developing these physical symptoms , because I'm so worried about like not being able , and I think it was catastrophizing and anxiety . Now that I'm looking back , it was that , um , I was afraid if I don't meet this stuff , then if I go on my trip to Kenya , I come back and I'm like I'm not and then now I don't have a job .

Speaker 1 7:46

Yeah , I don't have a job , I'm going to be fired .

Speaker 2 7:48

They're going to fire me in the middle of my trip . You know like all of these things , but I was trying to like .

Speaker 1 7:52

You were working to the last second Right .

Speaker 2 7:53

Because , also , I think I was also convincing myself that I wasn't doing as much as I need to do .

Speaker 1 8:08

But I was already doing much .

Speaker 2 8:09

I remember this one lady day was a Friday . I was getting on a plane on Monday , I think I even did some stuff on that Saturday , Like even like it was just so bad Running that midnight oil .

Speaker 2 8:17

Yes , Until I honestly , I wasn't until I was on that plane , until I was like you know what , whatever happens , don't care , I did what I could . I've like left all of my soul in the job , you know , yeah . And then I went and I had a good , great time . I come back and I was like , oh my god , like I think I needed this , because I was just like it took a while for my body to like readjust itself , to like it's okay . I think it was a fight or flight , it was like a mess , and I think that's one of the times we were being like that was a real burnout , because it just wasn't one day , it was a duration of a couple of months , because I knew this trip was coming Right compounded into this .

Speaker 2 8:52

Now I know I'm not okay because I'm not eating . I'm not this . I think I lost weight .

Speaker 1 8:55

And now you're not even looking forward to the trip .

Speaker 2 8:58

No , I was like oh my God , can we go next month ? Like I need more time , you know .

Speaker 1 9:02

Yeah .

Speaker 2 9:15

Do you ever get on vacation , vacation ? And I said I'm like I'm not thinking about work , right ? Yeah , no , I think for me like that time , I think I didn't .

Speaker 1 9:18

I was like you know what , like I , just like I said I got on that page , I literally deleted the app , everything .

Speaker 2 9:22

I was like I'm just gonna go whatever . Whatever happens , I will figure it out when I get back like I just put it I put it right , because then I know it will disrupt the time that I want to have here .

Speaker 1 9:32

And also there's nothing I can do about it .

Speaker 2 9:34

I'm already on a plane on this side of the country , so what am I going to do ? Call me and say , hey , what are you going to do ? So I was like I just had to leave that up to God .

Speaker 2 9:44

And I came back . I formed all of these scenarios in my mind . When I came back , I was like , oh , welcome back . And honestly , yeah , I did enjoy

Recognizing Workplace Stress and Burnout

Speaker 2 9:52

the trip . When I came back , um , the lady who was taking over my stuff or whatever may be , like she had got me caught up on everything , like I was like , oh my god , thank you , god , you know . So I was starting on like a clean slate basis , like I'm like I'm gonna have to do . I was thinking I'm gonna have to catch up .

Speaker 2 10:08

But thank God she was doing it and I think if she wasn't there I would have probably had to catch up on things . So I'm just so grateful for that . But I remember that being like a real like oh my God , I am stressed to the max .

Speaker 1 10:18

Yes , when you're supposed to be looking forward to the vacation . Your activities are done Right . I think that us , with my job , it's every time somebody's out like we have , like we call them like office buddies like your buddy who covers you when you're off . Oh nice , and I'm grateful for mine because he's like , especially because I'm still fairly new to the organization and . I remember the first time I took off .

Speaker 1 10:40

I was going to Kenya too , and I remember I was I made the mistake of giving , oh , one of my clients , my personal cell phone number , shut up which ?

Speaker 2 10:51

Red Boss said don't ever do that again and literally boarding the plane she's texting me .

Speaker 1 10:59

And I'm like I'm at the airport .

Speaker 2 11:01

Send it to my you know , my out-of-office is on at this point . Why is ?

Speaker 1 11:05

she right .

Speaker 2 11:06

I would have left her on Red Girl . You're a good one to respond .

Speaker 1 11:09

But that's what we did . Like I was worried , Like this is my job , I didn't want to steal a date .

Speaker 2 11:13

I didn't want to upset a girl . Yeah , no , I got you . So she texted me .

Speaker 1 11:16

And he's like Sarah , don't even worry about these people .

Speaker 2 11:22

Go enjoy your vacation .

Speaker 1 11:23

It'll be here so just he's got me .

Speaker 2 11:25

He always gets me , so why am I even worried ? He's never let me down before I know he's got it .

Speaker 1 11:29

This thing can wait . And I just remember , like why am I texting this person ?

Speaker 2 11:33

at the airport . It was stressful . I can only imagine I was going to say , now that we're talking , I'm thinking can it be our own stuff that causes us to leave ? It's just stress and burnout .

Speaker 2 11:45

I think it me . I fostered so much and created so many scenarios and stories in my mind that actually led me down that path . Suppose I should have just been like you know what ? It's a lot . Maybe I need to talk and ask them what do you need me to really complete ? This is my time . I'm feeling very overwhelmed . I'm inundated with so many things . What do you want me to focus on before I go ? Because I was like do this , this , this , and it's like there's just no time to do so . What am I supposed to do ? And then also , at the last minute , they wanted me to now teach this lady how to do some of these things , and I wish they would have told me that ahead of time . Right , yeah , you know . So I think it was like many things that contributed to where that mental head space or whatever I was , but after that I'm like I can't ever go there .

Speaker 2 12:22

Like that's just not a good space to be in .

Speaker 1 12:24

Ooh , I don't want to put myself in the situation .

Speaker 2 12:26

I don't know how it felt last time , anytime , I'm feeling that way at work now it's like PTSD , right , you know , like oh my God , I definitely don't want to get to that point . So I'm more aware now of when I'm not , like it's not heading in a good direction , that I need to like , retreat back and , like you know , self-analyze .

Speaker 1 12:44

Yeah Well , let me read this helpguideorg definition of burnout . It says burnout is a state of emotional , physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress . It occurs when you feel overwhelmed , emotionally drained and unable to meet constant demands . As the stress continues , you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place . Burnout reduces productivity and zaps your energy , leaving you feeling increasingly helpless , hopeless , cynical , like you said and resentful .

Speaker 1 13:23

Eventually , you may feel like you have nothing more to give . Oh Lord Yep .

Speaker 2 13:28

And then it says burnout spills over every area of your life right , so we're talking about work but , this is saying home work , social life Right , and it can cause long-term changes to your body .

Speaker 1 13:34

Yeah it , can you ?

Speaker 2 13:35

know , that's scary . It is very , very scary , you know . But I think it does start in a workplace , because I think that's where the actual definition came from is from like a workplace you know right right right , because even I was this .

Speaker 2 13:49

I think I don't know what this is , what website this is from , but it was saying that , like even before the pandemic hit the world , the who organization world health organization classified burnout , has a medical diagnosis describing it has a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress . That is not business . That's really managed and that's what it is . When you don't know how to manage , like you know the stress that you have and you have different thoughts about like how can I , can I get through this day ? I can't do this anymore . I'm working harder but I can't catch up . Like what's wrong with me ? I can't think straight . It's like so many things .

Speaker 2 14:15

But I think , like there's a precursor . Right , I don't think you , because you don't get here overnight . Right , there obviously were . Some is what it is . And then now you get to this point and you're like what happened ? You know what I mean . Like why am I here ? You know , because it takes always one day , two days , three , one week . Then it's two weeks and it's like wait , it's been four weeks now and I'm still not feeling any better . You know what I mean . Or like the work is still coming or I , and I think that's when we need to be aware of like these causes yeah , these causes .

Speaker 1 14:51

What is causing it ?

Speaker 2 14:52

because I think it can sometimes . Is it us like , like I said earlier in the episode , is it us like am I not doing what I need to do , or am I causing this ? Am I not ?

Speaker 1 15:01

you know managing my time right , right .

Speaker 2 15:04

Am I not managing my time right , or is the work really a lot ? Are they really throwing more ?

Speaker 1 15:08

than I can do this . I think it can be a combination of both right , right .

Speaker 2 15:11

I believe that , I definitely believe that it can be , you know , and then all of that intermingled right , and then now you have this you know cortisol soup . You know , because it's like you know , so many things are thrown in . And then god forbid you have personal things going on .

Speaker 2 15:26

That's a layer you know , you have you know , like other areas of your life that bleed into that as well , and then now you know you're just really like drained and a lot . I think a lot of sign is fatigue , like I get so tired quickly and I'll be like it's 3 pm . Why am I yawning like ?

Speaker 1 15:42

on a monday . Why am I thinking of my bed right like ?

Speaker 2 15:45

this is not okay and what I feel like I need sleep , sleep , sleep like it , like it's not .

Speaker 1 15:49

I don't know it's not healthy , right .

Speaker 2 15:51

It's not healthy at all . You know it's crazy . So what do you think are some ways that you know people can cope , like to get out of the burnout or like you know ?

Speaker 1 16:04

Well , I think first you have to recognize that you are feeling burnt out , right . That's true Because we talked about , like there's different levels of stress right in a season , so maybe you're just a little stressed out and it's going to pass . So I think you have to recognize , like you Analyzing where I'm at . Yeah , like I've been feeling like this for months , or years .

Speaker 2 16:21

I am burnt out . And why do you feel that way ?

Speaker 1 16:24

right , because , some people we talked about with work , for example . Some people just have high stressful jobs or work in high stressful situations . Right and the environment is stressful . Right no matter if they're working 40 hours , 50 , you know , it's just the job that they do , right ? So I think , recognizing maybe I'm in a field or industry or career or what have you , that is causing me stress . That's true too , and if that's , the case , then I think you're going to have to maybe take on something less demanding or maybe less challenging .

Speaker 1 16:54

Or , you know , we talked about maybe comparing ourselves to people and realizing that maybe this person is able to achieve this , because maybe they're putting in 50 , 60 hours and maybe you're only putting 40 hours , so maybe cutting back if that's what you need to do , right ? Yeah , maybe you won't get that praise and those accolades . But letting go , you'll be saving yourself . Right ? You're trying to be in control of too much . I think that's a little bit of what causes that burnout . You know what ? Control is a really good thing , yeah .

Speaker 2 17:24

We want to control the outcome of everything and then , when it really comes , we don't really have that , we don't really have that job to you know what I mean ? That's not really our job to do that . We just need to just do what we can and then leave the rest . And I think also like putting ourselves first filling our cup up , and maybe it is like prioritizing ahead before you . If you even know , like , okay , it's gonna be a season , I have a lot going , what can I do in advance to make sure that I'm not ? You know , I'm feeding myself , I'm getting the rest I need , you know , maybe taking the time off that I need , like planning ahead . I think it's one thing too , prioritizing that , because even like last , was it last fall or winter or whatever Right before the holidays , oh no , maybe in the holidays .

Speaker 1 18:09

Yeah , well , no right before the holidays .

Speaker 2 18:11

You know , I was really really super stressed because there was just a lot coming out and I'm like I didn't realize that we had gone to a small little beach for the holidays . And it was then that I realized I have not gone anywhere the whole year . I didn't realize Anywhere . That was relaxing or that was a change of scenery , and I didn't know how much I needed that at that time .

Speaker 1 18:32

So you didn't Right exactly

Preventing Workplace Burnout Through Intentionality

Speaker 1 18:34

.

Speaker 2 18:34

And then even talking with my therapist , she was like you look like you're a type of person that you need like four or five times out the year to like get away and like change the scenery .

Speaker 2 18:41

I'm like I do , I didn't know that and I think I just worked , worked , worked . I didn't sit down to even analyze . I think I'm not like operating in this , like stressful , you know , anxiety ridden , you know way um , and so planning that ahead , and so I'm trying to be intentional this year about making those small pockets of like getting away even , and that's the thing like we always think , oh , the work is going to be long when I come back , after catch up , whatever , leave that thing alone , they will replace you . So you just need to go and take your days and you know , rest , rejuvenate and do all of those things for you , and I think , when you're intentional to prioritize , that you won't find yourself in a burnout situation .

Speaker 1 19:29

But then what about instances where people like you know you hear new , new parents talking about , or like a stay-at-home mom or dad , like ? I'm home with the kids all day Like that can burn you out . That can , yeah when you're constantly taking care of little ones .

Speaker 2 19:41

That's work too , because it is work right . You know that is work , but I think it's the same thing , you know . Okay , this is now becoming a lot .

Speaker 2 19:49

Maybe I need to prioritize going Ask you know yes ask for help and we prioritize going away getting away , going away with a friend , you know , and actually articulating it . I think a lot of times people don't articulate that and so people don't know that you're actually suffering in silence , you know . So I think we just need to get ahead of it instead of waiting until , like , I'm already there and it's like dang , it's been four weeks I didn't really realize the window , yeah exactly and like and maybe it is like you know .

Speaker 2 20:15

Okay , so you know like , maybe , if I know , walking clears my mind , or going to the gym , or you know eating well or yoga meditation helps , you know , like all of these things , like getting to bed on time , you know all of these calming exercises help , journaling , whatever . Then I need to make sure I'm intentional and like what we talked about earlier , like I think we know what to do , we just need to do it .

Speaker 2 20:36

You know , you know , sometimes you can feel done because , like I don't want to wake up every morning and do yoga not me , so I'd be struggling , but I know I'll feel better , I'm calmer , I'm grounded .

Speaker 1 20:46

Yes , yeah , but for that morning walk , you know , getting that sun , the dopamine , all of that is important and I think , if you already have , I know for me , like if I schedule like my yoga , like ahead of time , like I know like thursday I have , I know I have this to look forward to right , yeah stressful week . I know yoga classes yeah it's waiting for me .

Speaker 1 21:04

I know I have something relaxing . You know that's gonna calm my nerves and put me in a better head space . Then at least that's something that it's like it becomes a little routine for me .

Speaker 1 21:14

I know every week I go yoga once or twice a week and that , I feel like , kind of minimizes that burnout yeah , something to look forward to right , or also , you know me , I'm also very social too , so I think , like maybe having a group of people that you can maybe get together with , correct , go out with , hang out with that helps to like , yeah , disconnecting from like the work I think getting like did like we like in the pandemic .

Speaker 2 21:35

I remember that like the , the ceo at the time of my company was like you unplug , like because people are still going places and they're plugged in , unplug from you know like really get out , go , go be in the world , you know what I mean . Like leave us back and I think and I think it was hard because in the pandemic we were all home so it was really hard to like sit there all day and like be on the computer even past 5 pm Because where else is we going ? We was locked in like it was quarantine time , so I think maybe these habits like really we carried them forward .

Speaker 1 22:07

Right and then now we don't know how to unplug now or to get off .

Speaker 2 22:10

Or it's like man , it's five o'clock why everybody still got a green light on teams . Man , it's 5 o'clock why everybody still got a green light on teams . Don't make no sense . We need to have our boundaries . We need to be able to exercise them and feel empowered to exercise them right . Don't get me wrong . I know the occasional . One day you may need to work a little bit late , and that's okay . But don't make it consistent , because I feel like the constant you know , it's the culture .

Speaker 1 22:29

It's also our American culture . Yeah , a very much so hustle culture . You got to keep going , you got to be productive , you have to produce you have to . It's exhausting people are like stressed out you want to show that you're you know you're a good worker and you want to keep going right . But then you end up feeling like , oh , I'm trapped , I'm not slated to this job . I can't not , yeah , you know , call in sick or do like how go to a doctor's appointment without feeling bad ?

Speaker 2 22:52

we we end up taking on more than we can chew , I think , and then we don't know how to be . Like , hey , I'm drowning . I think I took on too much , you know , I think it's .

Speaker 1 23:02

Because then you find out , the other person next to you is drowning too , like the more people that we talk to .

Speaker 2 23:06

Absolutely Everybody's in the same boat and it's like I can't help you . Oh , I'm feeling overwhelmed .

Speaker 1 23:11

I'm like I'm so sorry but I'm also feeling the same way , so I really can't help you . But maybe in another season .

Speaker 2 23:15

I could have helped you because I wasn't feeling that way . So I think it's like it's it's really not okay and it's I think , even like I think we read something about like millennials being like the most stressed out , burned out generation , taking on a lot , you know , and it's like we don't have an outlet , because I feel like not having an outlet , having an outlet , we tend to go to vices maybe you're drinking more , maybe you're smoking more , maybe you're eating more , you know , like just doing things that aren't really good for you , which only exacerbate the issue than actually doing the healthier things . Because it's just like you know I need a glass of wine . It's just been a long day .

Speaker 1 23:45

You know , I'm guilty of that , you know , but that's not really solving the problem .

Balancing Work and Self-Care

Speaker 2 23:50

It is . It's now building the things in your life that can help prevent , like being proactive taking that self-care day , maybe going for your massage , maybe going for you , like doing things that make you feel good . I think for me , I realized that , like you know , like going to go get my nails done , or like actually feeding and going to get my eye , but like I'm like , oh my god , like I haven't done something for myself that that helps you feel grounded and more like you versus like because I think I often operate oh , I don't have time , I don't have time , I don't have time , I don't have time , I don't have time . And then doing those things I think brings me back to reality of like wait , I need to really feed it to myself . I really need to hone in that . I really need to make that a priority , because I can't pour from an empty cup . You can't Go for that massage .

Speaker 1 24:28

You're being a disservice . Correct , but we'll look on the schedule and be like , oh , I gotta work , I can't take off the day off . My friend , yeah , you always find the day off , and I'm talking to this , speaking to myself , because it's like man , you're exhausted , yeah , and it's showing and you can feel it and you know you just have to do something about it . I think the issue comes do you think like we feel like guilty , like we talked about this especially ?

Speaker 1 24:52

in our culture like yeah well , I'm not really sick . Why am I gonna take a month to ?

Speaker 2 24:56

work . You know nothing's wrong with like I'm good I can keep working , or it's five , it's 5 30 .

Speaker 1 25:01

Yeah , I can go for another hour . So like why do we feel guilty to kind of like do these little things for ourselves ?

Speaker 2 25:07

I think we maybe just don't want to think that we don't care about the job when we really do . I think it's more about the perception of others versus us , I think , and so we tend to operate based on that Like oh my God , you know , I can log in , you know .

Speaker 1 25:20

I'll log in late . I'm not feeling well , but I'll log in late , you know .

Speaker 2 25:23

Like we tend to just briefly , you know , or I'm not feeling well now , but if I'm feeling well , I'll log in later and it's like but no , but you've got to feed into yourself . But I also wonder in these companies and organizations , do they even promote this ? Because I feel like sometimes we don't feel empowered to do it because it's not being promoted , it's not , hey .

Speaker 1 25:47

Take your days . Hey , if you're feeling sick , you don't have to be here .

Speaker 2 25:50

Hey , please take your days , because everyone is stressed out , everyone's like we need you , you know we need you here , but we I know you're like , but we gonna happen . We got canceled . That meet damn never gonna , you know , and and and I don't think it's like they don't care about you . I think that there's also a bigger goal , a bigger deliverable , and so it's like I don't think we're being enforced as we should be , to be out there and be taking our time .

Speaker 1 26:13

If anything , it's the opposite Correct , yeah , and also it's rewarded , right . We talk about like producing Maybe you did have an unrealistic goal or deadline or thing to meet , and then let's say you do exceed that . So then they expect more .

Speaker 2 26:25

Oh my God , yes , the more work you do , the more is expected , the more is put on your plate you know for instance , we were short staff , we lost somebody on the team , so we're all kind of covering .

Speaker 1 26:34

And then , if you cover , let's say you were a team of 10 , now you went to a team of 9 , but you're still doing the job of 10 .

Speaker 2 26:40

They're not going to hire that 10th person again .

Speaker 1 26:43

Oh well , these guys can do it , they're doing great . It's almost like the better you do , it's more as expected of you , because they can handle it . Yeah , and really you're treading water .

Speaker 2 26:59

So then , and really like treading water , so then , how do you even mitigate that ? Like , how , how can we make it be like we ? Yeah , yes , we're able to make it work and we're able to sacrifice ourselves for this time , but we don't but it needs to go back . We do need that next person , right ? But I also think it's vocalizing these things that we are struggling as a team . We would . It was nice to have that 10th person .

Speaker 1 27:09

It braided up nice buffer we were comfortable .

Speaker 2 27:11

Yeah , we got this done and we can , and I think we all can sacrifice and hone in for a little bit of time .

Speaker 2 27:17

But when now you're saying that's going to be the norm , now I'm like , okay , now we're going to be like this . Now everyone is feeling a little bit short and I don't have the time I had , I really can't do what I needed to do . It creates a really not good work environment . You know you end up being and you're creating cortisol so you're not stressed . Instead of having the bandwidth to be like , okay , you know what I can breathe , so-and-so , got that it's on her plate .

Speaker 1 27:38

Now it's peace of mind , but you eliminate that . That's what we all want to feel like a peace of mind .

Speaker 2 27:44

Nobody wants to feel like you know , we live here . I'm punching my shoulders up , but we live here and we shouldn't live here , because I often have to tell myself when I'm relaxed relax , put their things down , you know , because it's like unknowingly , we're like this because you're like , oh , you're so tensed up and it's like come on , now we can relax .

Speaker 2 28:02

But I think it's also talking to ourselves , because I often have to like remind myself and like it's okay , because I think again we can get re-triggered or we have PTSD from a last you know job or something that know , and so I think we have to be renewing our mind .

Speaker 2 28:16

It's okay . It's okay if I didn't get to that today . There's always tomorrow . And be honest , if someone comes and asks you if you're a boss , hey , no , I think this is what I was doing , this is what I couldn't get to and I don't have the capacity I've told my boss I don't have the capacity for this .

Speaker 1 28:32

I know Already . My plate is a lot and you want me to do it efficiently , correctly , right ?

Speaker 2 28:37

Correct , yes .

Speaker 1 28:38

Because sometimes you take on so much but you're spreading yourself so thin that you didn't even give your best performance or your best job .

Speaker 2 28:44

right there we go , we're making mistakes , now Exactly .

Speaker 1 28:47

You're now wondering why am I making ?

Speaker 2 28:48

that ? Or why am I not doing this ? Because , even like I was giving an example the other day , we're supposed to meet up to do this and I double booked myself . I think I planned something and I never and normally I'm good about putting things in my calendar yes , calendar .

Speaker 1 29:00

And then I realized wait a minute , so I'm out . When are we gonna meet up ?

Speaker 2 29:02

and then I realized , oh my god , I double booked with a plans I made a month and a half ago , and so I was like , oh my god , that's not normally like me . So I'm like , okay , now that I'm doing , I'm not , I'm not like I'm not here , I'm like , okay , now that I'm doing it , I'm not here , I'm not thinking . So that was like an indicator . Hey , you need to be more aware . I think there's too much going on that you forgot the smaller things that you don't really Stuff is slipping through the cracks .

Speaker 1 29:23

Now , right , correct , because you're taking on too much . Exactly , or ?

Speaker 2 29:25

like I told her , my laundry's been sitting there to be folded for two weeks . That's not the norm of me , honestly , like all of those things , and so I'm just like , oh my God , and I don't like operating like that . Anytime I'm neglecting my own things , that means something is going on in the workplace .

Speaker 1 29:40

Because it's like See how it's affecting other areas .

Speaker 2 29:43

Yeah , absolutely , Because after that , like you get out of working , You're like I don't have the strength to even fold these clothes now . You're like , forget it , I'll , do't feel like I need to force myself . I'm really like depleted from the job . I'm also taking a class . That's also another thing . So there's a lot of things that are just you know .

Speaker 1 30:03

It's a lot on your plate .

Speaker 2 30:12

It's a lot on your plate and yeah , and I just have to remind myself , it's a season , it's not going . This is just a season . Try your best every day , Make your plan , Try as much as you can to plan ahead the night before . You know like I know there are little things I can do , but I need to like now , like implement them , like we talked about .

Speaker 1 30:25

So then , if you're going to add another like organization you want to join Now . You want to go to a position you already are . No , don't , do not . Now you've thrown on Pilates yoga . That would not be the wisest thing to do . But you said you already burnt out Now you're adding more right .

Speaker 2 30:49

The goal is to take off , not to . Or maybe even if , like you , are taking a loss , maybe I need to not do it next month , because next month is going to be like this , this and the third , or this is our business season at work , so maybe I don't need to add that on , or this is what's happening here . And so you know , like I think , we , I think , from what I've learned , you need to look into the future and look into , like what is like on your plate , especially like work-wise , and and then try to balance it as much as you can . It won't ever be perfect , because life is not perfect , but just try as much as you can to balance it so you're not feeling , so you know and again , it's just a season , it's not going to be like this every season and then pray , pray to the good Lord that you can give you the grace to withstand .

Speaker 1 31:30

So what are some ways to manage burnout ? Pray and pray . I say cut out . We say cut out what the junk food ? Yeah , cut out the eat . Have good , healthy eating .

Speaker 2 31:39

You know like if you exercise walking Sleep , put the phone down . That's my heart . Put the phone stop scrolling Netflix , all of that stuff . Don't even watch a show , but then leave it like , whatever your bedtime is , cut it off . I'm telling you cut off and go to bed .

Speaker 1 31:56

You will sleep because I know I'm like this . You're wondering why you're feeling drained , listen , and you've been scrolling through TikTok for two hours Listen . So sometimes it's on our own selves .

Speaker 2 32:03

Thank you , I deleted that TikTok . Oh , I had to TikTok .

Speaker 1 32:09

Yeah .

Speaker 2 32:09

I had to . I don it . It was you were scrolling , like me , right I ?

Speaker 1 32:17

surely was damn ticks out especially . I think I had it for a week and I realized and I was like I'm done . I can't . It's been two hours , it's 1 am and I haven't slept because I'm too busy it's like the album is that that's what it is correct . Correct , and it's the short videos .

Speaker 2 32:27

But you think . Next thing you know , four hours have gone by , it's 2 30 in the morning and you're like I gotta be up at seven for a meeting , and now I'm feeling like crap , and now I'm looking for coffee

Celebrating Small Wins and Achievements

Speaker 2 32:35

. I'm telling you like everything like you know , like it's like a cat . Everything is like following each other .

Speaker 1 32:40

You know , you create this cyclical cycle and if you really do want to connect with people , you can do it minus the gadgets . You can actually like go for a walk with friends and you know , talk to each other and see each other in person . If that's what you're missing , that human interaction , that connection , Right Go for dinner .

Speaker 2 32:56

I like that too , you know , but go for dinner like okay , hey , you know , especially now like the day is getting longer and you know where it's light . Maybe like hey , you want to meet up for dinner or we go for a walk or something like something to do .

Speaker 1 33:19

We tend to just be more tense and more you know , because dark it's dark , there's no light , so you're miserable , right , you know , um , and even those there's .

Speaker 2 33:25

I think you have to be extra intentional in that season because if not you'll find yourself in the same uh boat doing that and we just think like I think the summertime and , you know , springtime is just more light . You feel more motivated to get out there doing this . So I do . I can almost say that probably stress is probably a little bit lesser in the summertime and springtime only because of just the sun and all of that going , you know , is able to like balance you . I think it really can creep up because you know how to all these is also its own stress in itself . So I think that doesn't help situation . So I think it makes sense why I felt the most you know , when we went for our trip , you know , to the beach when it was .

Speaker 1 34:01

Set aside that time to relax and do those things .

Speaker 2 34:03

Yes , try to look ahead like we're talking about , like going to Christmas shopping in September and October versus November and December .

Speaker 1 34:10

Like there's a lot of people .

Speaker 2 34:12

Thank you , Every year , same day , every year y'all , so you can get it , thank you . Thank you , don't change , it is .

Speaker 1 34:19

It is Dang . I forgot it was someone's birthday . I forgot it was .

Speaker 2 34:23

It's the same day , every year Same day , every year , listen . I even have like a task app that I have .

Speaker 1 34:28

I think it's called like everyday tasks , like a journal , no , no , no , it's like what's it ?

Speaker 2 34:33

called Daily . Let me , I think it's Daily Tasks or something like it . What is it ? Smart Tasks ?

Speaker 1 34:38

I'm sorry , it's called Smart Tasks , to help you get more organized yes , to get more organized and you can plan . Do you know what space you're doing ? Correct ?

Speaker 2 34:50

And things that I think about normally . Just try to list it out and then I can go back and say , okay , and then what I ? What has really helped ? Like even there's a space where I think when I go back to look , because sometimes I get my mind it's like I'll be like you didn't do nothing . You didn't really complete anything , so they have a completed list .

Speaker 2 35:03

So when I go and like , I look and see all of the things that I've completed I'm like , oh , I am doing something , you know , like I'm not just sitting here , but our brain can make us feel like , because maybe we didn't do eight things today , we didn't do much , but you did four , so is that not okay ?

Speaker 1 35:18

So you only walked two miles . There we go . That's five miles .

Speaker 2 35:20

You know like I think we need to be and we talked about this making like incorporating the small wins we had a talk about this in our imposter syndrome episode like celebrating the small wins . Maybe you didn't do an hour , you did 30 minutes . You even woke up and did the yoga . You know what I mean . Like all of those things , I think when we celebrate the small milestones , we're able to see that we are doing better , we are progressing , but if we're looking for the grand change we're going to be miserable , it's overwhelming .

Speaker 1 35:45

That's where the burnout comes right . Right , because you want praise for those big achievements , correct , that's what . And you end up feeling burned out .

Speaker 2 35:52

What about the small wins ? Like you've completed the task , like I think you were telling me earlier you have to complete things , and you're like , oh , I feel great when I've done it . And it's like , oh , my God , you know , but yeah , it's , I was looking on drums . So I'm praying for us y'all , because this rollout here , I think a lot of people are in and it doesn't have to be this way . So we need to just start implementing . You know different ways to cope and manage it so that it doesn't get all the way , yeah the balance .

Speaker 1 36:21

The goal is to live a balanced life Right . Not doing anything at all or doing everything . That's not healthy .

Speaker 2 36:27

So you want to reach that happy medium and balance , correct , correct and also , just you know , make sure , like you are , we're all doing , you're doing a good job , we're all doing a good job .

Speaker 1 36:37

And if no , one has ever told you that you know we are you know you have every .

Speaker 2 36:41

You know you have everything you need to . You know to live well and move forward in that and so believe that you know . Don't believe the lies of the enemy .

Speaker 1 36:52

We can tell each other right the lies of our own thoughts , right , yeah , we need to start telling people like . You're doing a good job exactly like I appreciate you .

Speaker 2 37:00

I think those really help when I see that like right exactly , or my mom or , like my , my boss , you know . Oh , I really appreciate you doing that . Thank you so much for really thinking about that .

Speaker 1 37:10

It means okay so it's not in vain . You know what I mean , you know and also practice giving it .

Speaker 2 37:14

I'm trying to be in a season where I practice giving that to people . You know , I see you're really stepping up . You're doing a really good job . Yeah , you know of everything , so you have to hear it sometimes .

Speaker 1 37:23

Right .

Speaker 2 37:33

It goes a long way . It really does . I think we don't know had to bring it to , like all the things that I'm doing , and she was like no wonder , you're straight , you know what I mean .

Speaker 1 37:41

Like you know , look at your play , but also look at the good stuff you've done .

Speaker 2 37:51

So it was like a perspective shift , you know , which was actually pretty , pretty cool to see . You know what you're right . Let me not dwell so much on what I haven't accomplished or what I haven't done . Let me dwell , you know , or think more about what I have accomplished . Even if it's a small minute thing . I drank my water today . You know what I mean . You know I went to bed on time . I put the phone down today

Embracing Grace in Corporate America

Speaker 2 38:05

. We're all trying , we're all struggling .

Speaker 1 38:06

We are , we're all tired , we're all on the same boat .

Speaker 2 38:10

Give yourself grace is not easy at all , by any means .

Speaker 1 38:13

And especially in .

Speaker 2 38:14

America . In this corporate capitalism and hamster lifestyle , we need to just be kind to ourselves and give ourselves the grace that we're doing the best that we can and one day at a time .

Speaker 1 38:27

Amen , that's all we can do .

Speaker 2 38:30

And again , we're not therapists , but you know , this is just what we . Right right , this is just the opinions that we've just come up with and the thoughts , and so we just wanted to share with you guys so I hope this resonates with somebody to let us know your thoughts , your comments , your feedback . We just thought of something really that needs to be talked about because , you know , we're all struggling and you're not alone . Yeah no , you're not alone . Thank you guys . Thanks so much . Keep fighting the good fight bye .